The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
