Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
