I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
