:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
