so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
