Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
people are starting to question the shark bite story
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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