i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Randomize
