She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
