She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
