I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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