Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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