Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Randomize
