Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
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