i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
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