Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize
