After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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