I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
