Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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