You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
