Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
