I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
