I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
