It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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