i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
