is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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