I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
