The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
You need Xanax blowdarts
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
