i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
it's not cheating when I paid for it
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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