what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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