1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
