He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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