Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Randomize
