she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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