I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
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