i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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