can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Randomize
