I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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