She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Randomize
