her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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