Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
wanna go halves on a baby?
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize
