just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
this boner is exhausting
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
