I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
