Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Randomize
