She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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