he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Randomize
