I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
