Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
