Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
So squirting runs in the family.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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