You're so nebulous sometimes
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
