I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
