Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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