I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
